According to the authors of the book “A Billion Wicked Thoughts: What the Internet Tells Us About Sexual Relationships,” “cuckold porn” was the second most searched porn phrase after “youth.” While wife sharing may be a popular dream, it is a sexual scenario that goes too far for most men.
Not for so-called Stags, though. These guys get their rocks off watching their wife or girlfriend having sex with other dudes. The Stag either joins in or watches as a voyeur. The Vixen, or, as they are known in some circles, Hotwife, has sex with the encouragement of her husband or boyfriend with the Bull (that’s the guy who is servicing her).
Another scenario is that the Vixen has sex with a Bull outside of the couple’s shared abode, then comes home and recounts all the details in a blow-by-blow description to turn the Stag on.
So, are we talking cuckolds?
No. However you could be mistaken for thinking that as the definition of a cuckold is a man who enjoys the act of his wife being pleasured by another male. You may have heard the term “cuck” being bandied about of late. In political circles, it’s a barb that the alt-right throw at lefty men as in, “You snowflake cuck,” before the left cluck back and call them “Cuckservatives.”
These insults allude to the fact that in some cuckhold scenarios there’s an element of ritualized humiliation, submissiveness, jealousy or denial that comes into play. The Bull, the wife or both dominate the encounter and the cuckold gets his sexual thrill from the masochistic shame and humiliation.
Their little secret
Meet Stag & Vixen couple Susie*, 36, and Shane*, 38, who go under the Twitter handle @Ourlittlesecret. So-called because apart from indulging in extra-circular bedroom activities, they’re otherwise a long-term, straight, married couple with kids and regular jobs, whose friends have no idea what they get up to. Although their 72K Twitter followers do.
For Susie and Shane, the term Stag & Vixen was a better fit than cuckold. “It’s a description that suites us perfectly as there is no humiliation or denial involved,” explains Shane. “I prefer to be a voyeur, but occasionally, I’ll join in. Watching my wife with another man is a big turn-on for me. It’s like foreplay. As much as I love watching, I can’t wait for the Bull to leave so I can ravish Susie myself.”
In Stag & Vixen circles, this is known as “reclaiming” and the focus of the couple returning back to each.
It was Shane’s long-held fantasy for Susie to have sex with another man. “We’d often roleplay it in a fantasy situation,” explains Susie. “However, I was too insecure about my body to entertain the thought of having sex with anyone else. Then we started the Twitter account and started posting naked pictures (Susie never shows her face, so there’s an anonymity). I enjoyed the exhibitionism and the compliments. I got talking to a guy who lived in our city and he asked me out for coffee. Shane was all for it.”
After the date, the Bull came home with Susie and they had sex. “Sex with another man was appealing because Shane and I have been together since I was 18” she says. “I felt like a teenager who was dating again.”
“Initially, I found it hard to have sex in front of Shane,” she says. “He knows my comfort levels, so now he leaves us to it, until I get into it.
“Once I walked in on them and she was on top; it’s your bed, your wife and another man. It’s crazy, but it’s a big turn-on,” says Shane. “However, it’s not like in the movies, with the guy directing the scene, I just sit there quietly.”
“Every now and then, I’ll look over, smile and giggle Shane’s way,” adds Susie. “Or Shane will come over and give me long, hot, horny kisses.”
Interestingly, many Stags have no interest in sexual encounters with other women. “I’ve got a hall pass to sleep with other women but that wasn’t the original intention. It was always about Susie’s pleasure and the pleasure I get from her experiencing it.”
However, the couple say there are rules in place. “The rules are Shane has to know about everything and we can’t have any secrets,” says Susie. “If I happen to go out by myself, he has to hear all the details.”
Shane says there definitely was a learning curve when the couple first started living the Stag & Vixen lifestyle. “Once she had sex in the car before she got home, which was a sore subject as I wanted to be there when she was having sex.”
“No, I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t want to,” she asserts. “I like being able to experience pleasure with other men. However, with sex anyone other than Shane is purely sexual. Our relationship is my prime focus.”
The couple say they have more sex together now. “Susie tends to be more horny before, during and then after, if she has a date. It has brought us closer together more,” says Shane.