It’s natural to have a lot more questions when you’re interacting with a painful vagina after sex. If an intense joyride leaves you strolling (let’s be honest, that’s the exact and extremely unsexy way to describe it), it’s fair to assume that things simply got out of hand. Many people enjoy rough sex which causes some uneasiness in some cases. However, your vagina should not hurt after or during sex in most cases.
After all, being intimate with your partner is supposed to feel good. When sex is hurtful (medically known as dyspareunia1, by the way), it’s critical to inform both your partner and your gynecologist. This should not lead you to believe there must be something fundamentally wrong with you or your body. You should also not feel compelled to accept it. To get to the bottom of this issue, SELF asked experts to explain the potential causes of vaginal or pelvic pain after sex and what you can do to feel better.
First and foremost, is it ever normal to be sore after sex?
To be clear, sex isn’t assumed to be painful (and we don’t mean sexual pain during sex—we mean sex that hurts when you don’t want it to).
“It’s not common to be sore after sex unless it’s [your] first time, and there was some hymen stretching to contend with. The tissue at the opening of your vagina is known as your hymen3. The hymens of many people thin or tear over time. But just because being sore after sex isn’t normal doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. nearly three out of every four women will experience pain during sex at some point in their lives. Pain is a temporary issue for some people, but it is a long-term issue for others.
What is the cause of a sore vagina after sex?
If you only recall one thing from this article, make it this: if sex is causing you pain, consult your gynaecologist. Work with your doctor to figure out why, even though sex should be fun and enjoyable, and painless. (Do not force yourself to accept anything less!)
This article is a good starting point for understanding what’s going on, but it should never be used in place of an honest conversation with a specialist.
With that in mind, read on to learn more about the most common causes of pelvic pain or a sore vagina after sex:
1. There was insufficient lubrication for sex
Insufficient lubrication is one of the most widely accepted causes of pain during or after sexual activity, which can result in a sore vagina. (Take notes, because this one will come up a few times.) Everyone generates varying quantities of natural lubrication for a variety of reasons, including age, birth control, and certain medications, to name a few.
When your vagina is not adequately lubricated during sex, the friction can mean that it helps tears in your skin. These tears can make you more susceptible to infection and cause your vagina to hurt after sex.
2. There was a lack of arousal before sex
Often you just aren’t in the mood, and that’s okay. However, having sex when you’re not satisfactorily aroused can result in a lack of lubrication and, eventually, a sore vagina after sex.
Foreplay, foreplay, and more foreplay! Arousal is just as “essential” for good sex for a person with a vagina as an erection is for a person with a penis. Actually communicate with your partner and display your desires in the warmups department.
3. You had rough sex, which caused a lot of friction
Friction can be extremely beneficial! It frequently is! However, excessive friction can affect your vagina to hurt after sex, most likely due to a lack of lubrication.
Take whatever precautions are necessary to ensure adequate lubrication. Foreplay is an excellent way to allow the vagina to warm up, and lube is also beneficial. It’s also critical to take your time at first. Begin gently and gradually, and then progress to rougher, faster sex (if that’s what you’re into).
4. You are allergic to latex, lubricant, or sperm
Latex allergy (or sensitivity) affects some people. If you are one of these people and use latex condoms, you may end up irritating your vagina. However, you may be allergic or sensitive to the ingredients in your lube8, as well as proteins in your partner’s sperm. This can cause redness, burning, and swelling down there. If you have a severe allergic reaction to sperm, you may experience a body-wide reaction that includes hives, itching, and difficulty breathing. However, keep in mind that this is extremely rare. “It is very rare that the problem is a sensitivity to sperm.
5. You have scar tissue
Scar tissue could be “a possibility” for a sore vagina after sex if you recently had a baby or had surgery down there, such as removing a potentially dangerous lesion. Scar tissue forms when a wound heals after a cut, sore, burn, or another skin issue, or when a surgical incision is made into your skin.